“It’s all part of my rock ‘n roll fantasy…”

“I had a dream the other night, you were in a bar in the corner on a chair…” (Temple of the Dog.)

Over the weekend, I had a dream that I met Eddie Vedder. I can count on one hand the number of Eddie/Pearl Jam-related dreams I’ve had in my entire life. I still remember the first one, in 1992, vividly. This most recent one, however, has really resonated with me.

A group of fans and I were perusing this basement pub, looking for the band. We passed by an open archway and went out into the night. But I held back, thinking they might be in the room beyond the yellow archway.

As I walked into the room, I saw Mike McCready sitting at a table with Matt Cameron. Next to them was Stone Gossard and Jeff Ament. Eddie had his back up against the wall, standing next to Kelly Curtis (their manager.) I kept my peripherals on Eddie but started speaking with Jeff about the bass.

“You were one of the reasons I started playing the bass,” I told him.

Just then, Kelly announced that the band had to leave. NO! I thought. I didn’t get to talk to Eddie (the same dread I felt when my chance to meet him was blown by a rude fan this past summer). But as I walked toward him, he embraced me. Two of his locks of hair got wedged between our cheeks and he said, “I love you. You’re my best friend.” Though it might have been “fan.” I used to say the latter version to my dear, sweet Snakes (cat) all the time.

As I pulled away, he tucked his hair behind his ear and looked at me with those amazing and bright eyes. (In June, his eyes caught mine and I don’t have to shut them to see him looking at me!) “Ten. Ten changed my life. I was ten when Ten came out. You–this whole…you guys made my life.”

I started to wake up. I clung desperately to sleep but it was no use. Once I’d awakened, I dove for my pen and paper to bleed the words into some sort of semi-permanence. This recent Pearl Jam Renaissance in my life couldn’t have come at a better and much-needed time. I feel like it’s leading me to a good version of my memoir.

Maybe some day I’ll meet them. I’d sure like to. I’d like to because, well,I won’t lie, it would totally make my life. But I personally want to thank them for every song, every word, every loud, stoplight sing along.

So, before I leave you with an incredible Mother Love Bone song, what is your “band of all time” and why?

Be well and rock on,



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